Wed, 10 Oct 2007

Awkward Silences

I am not usually one to comment about work on my blog, mostly because it's dangerous, but also because it's boring. Since tomorrow is my last day at $OldDayJob, though, I decided to indulge myself.

Those that know me in Real Life know I tend to babble sometimes. Those that know me a little better know one of the reasons why: I cannot stand awkward silences. An awkward silence in a conversation means there is space to be filled. I've always taken awkward silences as a bad thing. I think if I just explain things a little further, the other people in the conversation will understand, especially when the subject is technical. Usually I end up weakening my stance and compromising. If it's a technical thing, I usually end up doing it myself.

After turning in my resignation two weeks ago, the $OldDayJob did something I never expected: they effectively ignored it. Oh, the proper people were notified, necessary documents generated, and sorrowful tidings exchanged. The people running the project to which I was assigned, however, acted completely oblivious. This project and everyone associated with it had been in panic mode well before I joined it 2.5 weeks ago (I'd only been on the project a few days when I gave notice). They continued to expect me to work miracles with the system they had put together despite the fact I had been dropped into the middle of the project after it was supposed to be in production. Then they apparently expected me to implement a new design for the system in days even though I had never worked with some of the technology in question before. I was more than a little shocked by this behavior; any other time I have left a job of my own accord, the last two weeks are spent training others to cover for me until a replacement can be found. I couldn't believe they had decided to ignore the fact I was leaving and depend on me to work all hours of the night and weekend to accomplish something well beyond my skill set up to the point I had my exit interview.

Eventually, I realized things could not continue. I could not build the stuff they wanted in their impossible timeframe, and I needed to train some people to take over some other things after I left. That's when a friend of mine (who isn't cool enough to have a website) gave me some advice: "Don't try to keep explaining to them. Don't use words like 'I feel' or 'I believe.' Just tell them you can't do it, give them short, direct answers why, and let them deal with the awkward silence." So that's exactly what I did.

Those awkward silences turned from a weakness into a tool. A weapon even.

In fact, it forced someone on the team to finally acknowledge I was leaving. As the dead air on the phone line lingered, I could almost hear the wheels finally starting to turn in the guy's head as it dawned on him the he needed to find a replacement for me, and probably should have been looking already.

Awkward silences can be powerful.

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